Bring a poem to read or just enjoy 2 for 1 wine specials to the Bookstore in the Grove on the corner of Grand Avenue and Virginia Street in Coconut Grove.

7:30-9:30p.m.

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Dear My Ami,

Hi, how are you? It’s been about a month since I left and I’m already missing you. It’s cool here – I mean, literally – the fog has soaked completely into my bones and I don’t stop drinking chamomile tea…but I can’t stop thinking about all the good times we had over the last five years.

Remember that time we met the millionaire who drove a Ferrari and I was all, “OMG! That’s like so My Ami!”

And remember that other time that the boss was so busy screwing the assistant he forgot to manage the company?

And then there was that time I taught a yoga class at La Gorce country club and only men over 40 kept showing up? Yeah, that was weird when they wouldn’t give me a raise. I always did much better with gay male supervisors!

Boot Camp for hot girls with brains and too many morals is all right. It’s nice when men in the office look at my eyes and not my tits when I’m talking, but I sure do miss wearing scandalous outfits and going to art shows in Wynwood! When the fog descends and it’s dark outside, the last think I want to do is wait for a bus in strappy high heels.

But waiting at the bus stop gives me plenty of time to write. I’ve been trying more poetry. Check this one out…

It’s true what they say about My Ami
She’s hot
She’s curvy
She triggers all 7 vices in just one shot
I LUSTED for green
I tangoed with GREED
I fell into a vat of SLOTH and Publix carrot cake GLUTTONY
Had too much PRIDE to admit I had massive penis ENVY…

They tried to warn me in the sleepy hollows of Disney Bible belt monotony,
But I said, “Whatever,” and sped down I-95, where rush hour traffic ignited my WRATH around, around, around the hurricane blows, whirling, whirling, the energy goes…
“Brrooooop!”

Inside the vortex of My Ami…I open my eyes and who do I see?
A Miami Millionaire in an office folded somewhere inside the yellow brick Roads…
He needs a writer to edit copy for his boiler room toads..
He needs a writer, but he criticizes the state of my fingernails and toes.
“Get a manicure, sheesh,” he says with a NY accent.
“Whatever,” I say as I take a $3,000 check from him in the parking lot and roll my eyes at his red Ferrari.
“That is like so My Ami…
Are you aware there’s a war?
Do you recycle or care to buy eco?
I’m doing my part,
I just protested the war in San Francisco -
Vrooom. Zooom. zooooooom.
“Woooaaaah! Ooooh. Ooo. Oh.
Um. No. That wasn’t fun, take me home.
Vrooom. Zooom. zooooooom.
Oooh! Woow! Ha ha! Weeeeee!
Heeey! Stop that! OK, I’m going home to write about politics now.
Shopping at Merrick Park?
Oh puuuuleeazzzze. I don’t buy STUFF.
You are such a consumer.
No, I don’t want those watches.
No, I don’t want that foot massager.
Well, at least give me the receipt…”
They say you become what you are around
A hippie that once held flowers now shooting a gun
For only here in this corner of Bermuda’s triangle,
So far from San Francisco and the hillbilly panhandle,
The fiction I watched in suburbia
Is real life
rubbing, rubbing, rubbing the sensitive tip of Florida’s peninsula
until oooo! ahhhh! ooooh!
I’ve been sucked into another vortex…
Spinning up and up and up through the glass ceiling
Ready to blast off into another dimension
I’m a Femmebot
Shooting the contents of my mind
Through the only medium understood by macho My Ami
Gotta get two chess steps ahead
Broooooooooop!

OK, so my poem turned into a comic book scene…sue me. I’m still working on consistency over here.

I miss My Ami, but I know I’m in the right place now. It sure was confusing trying to build a company in such a sexually charged city.

I enclosed a recent photo of me. I wonder what you’ll think! I was trying to combine the styles of Miami and San Francisco all in one. I call it “Socialism meets Capitalism.” Maybe I’ll eventually be able to combine the two for my business!

Anyways, see you soon. I’ll be there in May to take a writer’s workshop at the Florida Center for the Literary Arts with Esmeralda Santiago.